Every town, city and village in Turkey has a tea house. These tea houses are an integral part of community life. They are not the same as tea gardens, however, and it helps to know the difference when you visit.
A traditional Turkish tea house is primarily a male space. This long-standing custom means women are seldom present, and it can be surprising to outsiders. I learned this firsthand after assuming that the unspoken rule might be relaxed on special occasions.
Venturing into a Male-Dominated Turkish Tea House
My friend Samantha and I decided to support Murat, a Turkish friend who had just opened a tea house. We thought the idea odd—how much profit could you make selling tea for a few kuruş a cup?—but Murat was determined to try, and we wanted to encourage him.
That morning we arrived on a scooter, careful to dress modestly. When we pushed open the door, the chatter in the room stopped abruptly, as if someone had switched off a radio.
Fifteen tables of older Turkish men were all looking our way. My heart raced as I realized this visit might have been a mistake. I felt a wave of relief when Murat appeared from a back room, but his expression told me he was not relieved in the same way.
Murat hurried us to the back room, apologizing to every man as we passed. Their faces showed clear disapproval. Once inside, Murat closed the door and finally exhaled. He was sweating and whispered, “What are you doing here?”
In short, we were served two cups of tea, made to sit in the back room, and then gently but quickly escorted out as if we were intruders. The experience taught me to think twice before entering a traditional tea house unannounced, though it’s a story I can now laugh about.
Some Western women unfamiliar with Turkish customs might call this sexism, and it’s understandable to view it that way: there’s no logical reason women should be barred from such places. But tradition and culture play a strong role here, and the Turkish tea house is part of a social fabric that has existed for generations.
Am I upset about not being able to enter a tea house? Not particularly. There are plenty of other places—tea gardens, cafes and modern establishments—where women and men can sit and drink tea comfortably. I prefer to respect the tea house as a space where Turkish men gather to talk, relax and maintain a cultural tradition. I don’t want to change it; I want to appreciate it for what it is.