Nuray Aykin is a Turkish woman whose outlook and determination set her apart from many in her generation.
Her conception was unplanned; what might have been a sad ending instead became a turning point when her parents called off an abortion and devoted themselves to providing their daughter with a loving, supportive home.
Raised in a small village, Nuray later studied at a university in Ankara and ultimately moved to the United States to pursue a career—an opportunity that many Turkish women of her era did not have.
She built a successful academic career, teaching at several universities. In her personal life she married, had a child, divorced, and remarried. Motherhood brought her great joy, and she has continued to support her son unconditionally.
One expression of her devotion is a book she wrote about Turkish culture and traditions. The book grew from a poignant moment many parents face: her son leaving home to make his own way in the world.
A Book about Turkish Culture and Traditions
In this 130-page memoir, Nuray shares with her son the story of his birth and the life that shaped him. She describes the challenge of raising a child in the U.S. while preserving Turkish customs and values. The book explores her personal struggles and offers an intimate look at family life across cultures.
Although I have not personally embraced motherhood in the same way, I found great pleasure in Nuray’s vivid portrayals of her family members.
She takes readers back to a time before modern conveniences, offering a close-up view of daily life across three generations of a Turkish family.
Where My Genes Come From: My Family
Nuray paints a memorable portrait of her grandfather, whom the family called Kara Dede. Born in 1905 and living to age 94, he was the village fixer—someone who seemed able to secure whatever was needed. Despite a fondness for gambling, he kept up with changing times and was one of the first in the village to have a telephone.
This modern habit irritated Nuray’s grandmother, who considered such devices to be temptations.
Her grandmother managed the household with remarkable skill. Though illiterate, she produced soap, tomato paste, olive oil and sold vegetables to stretch a tight budget. She joined Nuray’s mother at the river to wash clothes and often complained about missing chickens—while the family joked that Kara Dede sometimes brought a chicken to another woman in the village.
Nuray’s relationship with her father appears more complicated. A civil servant by profession, he lived modestly but struggled with choices that eventually included habitual gambling, even using his earnings to cover Kara Dede’s debts. Rather than dwell on painful memories, Nuray chooses in her book to emphasize the positive moments and the life lessons she wants to share with her son and future generations.
Who will enjoy this book?
Readers in the United States will appreciate Nuray’s reflections on adjusting to life after emigrating from a humble upbringing in Turkey. Arriving in 1981, she recounts the challenges of adapting to a new language, driving on fast highways and navigating everyday tasks when her English proved less fluent than she expected.
The book will also appeal to anyone in an intercultural relationship with a Turk or anyone curious about Turkish family life, customs and traditions. Nuray’s memoir blends personal anecdotes, cultural insight and warm reflections that make her experiences accessible to readers from many backgrounds.
For those who want to learn more about Nuray and her work, she maintains a blog where she shares further stories and updates from her life.
http://pomegranatesandgrapes.com/